


The Time We Have is Really Not So Bad

by BasementVampire



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Sex, Angst, Cheating, Crying, Fluff, Hopeful Ending, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Love, March 22nd, Modern Era, Post-Break Up, Rimming, Smut, bob is not in this bc fuck him, mikey being a good brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 20:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14064912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasementVampire/pseuds/BasementVampire
Summary: 2018. Five years after the breakup.Frank is visiting in California and pining after the man who used to be his lover. Gerard is desperate to have him back, as well. But with marriages and children to deal with, getting back together may be easier said than done. Is their love worth the heartache? Or is it better to just let a good thing be?





	The Time We Have is Really Not So Bad

**Author's Note:**

> I am posting this at like midnight, as I wanted to have it up for the 22nd, but it's just a tad late. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this bullshit.  
> <3

Frank's heart stopped when he saw him—Gerard was as beautiful as ever. Even more so, now that he was happy. Healthy.

He had gained a little weight, but that was okay. Frank would take this over Gerard starving himself like he had in the past any day. And he had this long, soft hair that Frank was just longing to run his fingers through.

Gerard's smile was the same as always—crooked, with his weirdly small teeth showing. It was the kind of smile that could stop wars. And above his pretty mouth, his eyes shone from under thick lashes, radiating that sort of quiet energy that made Gerard so irresistibly special.

It was only a few seconds between Frank catching sight of Gerard and waxing poetic to himself about how gorgeous his friend was, and Gerard picking him out of the crowd and running toward him. His eyes lit up as he rushed forward and caught Frank in a bruising hug.

"Whoa!" Frank gasped, arms sliding around the other man's waist. "Jeez, hey."

Gerard laughed, loosening his grip a little. "Sorry." He wasn't. "I missed you."

Frank's heart swooped. "I missed you, too, Gee."

After a moment, Gerard pulled back and held Frank at arms length. "You look great," he said, raking his eyes over Frank's figure. It lacked the sensual tone Frank wished would have accompanied the sentiment. "How are Jamia and the kids?"

"Good, they're good," Frank said, finally extricating himself from Gerard's grasp before his heart burst. "You'll never guess what Miles did the other day."

Gerard giggled, that stupid high laugh that sounded almost like a fairy. "Tell me while we wait for your luggage," he replied, grabbing Frank's hand and dragging him through the airport. "It's already 4, can you believe that? Everyone's coming over at 6. Gosh, it's been a long time since we got everyone together, huh? I'm so glad you're back in California, Frank."

Frank smiled as he listened to Gerard ramble, focused only on the hand in his.

On the ride to Gerard's place, the two caught up. It hadn't been _that_ long since they'd seen each other, and they texted frequently, but it still seemed like an eternity. Gerard told Frank about all the animals inhabiting his backyard and about an idea he'd had for a new comic, and Frank recounted some funny stories courtesy of his children and swiped the aux cord to play Gerard some songs by a new band he'd gotten into.

It was so easy to be with Gerard. Hell, that's why they were best friends in the first place. Frank could spend an eternity like this, laughing and talking with Gerard, his chest hurting a little from how happy he was.

"If you haven't already booked a hotel, you could stay with me," Gerard suggested at the next stoplight.

A better man than Frank might have turned down the offer. But his answer was immediate, nodding almost too excitedly as he said, "Yeah, that'd be cool."

Gerard smiled, glancing over at him. "Sweet."

"Are you sure Lindsey won't mind?"

Gerard shook his head. "She's the one that suggested it, actually. She's taking Bandit for a visit to her parents this weekend, and she thought I might like the company."

Frank's heart was racing. It was like the setup of a bad porno: wife out of town, lonely husband left behind, and enter the on and off lover.

Maybe Frank was being a little too hopeful, but hey, it wasn't like this hadn't happened before. And now that Gerard's wife and daughter were going away for a few days, his chances were even better.

All Frank said aloud was, "Thanks. I appreciate it."

 

*****

 

Frank enjoyed the evening, despite the jet lag and the four-hour time jump. Ray and Mikey and their families came to Gerard's place, and it was kind of like old times. Only now they were happier. So this was even better than the way things had been five years ago.

"You didn't invite Bob?" Frank joked when they sat down to eat.

Gerard's face scrunched up in a scowl. "No I didn't fucking invite Bob."

Frank laughed, shaking his head. "I'm kidding, Gee. God, you're such a drama queen."

Gerard rolled his eyes, not arguing but changing the subject nonetheless. "Have you seen _Black Panther_ yet, Mikey?"

Frank chuckled. Some things never changed.

 

*****

 

Ray was busy the next day, but Gerard and Mikey weren't, so Frank dragged the Way brothers to a variety of shitty tourist attractions. They had a good time; well, Frank did at least. He couldn't speak for the others, though they seemed to be having fun, despite looking like they were chasing after an overexcited puppy the whole time.

"Ooh!" Frank squealed when they passed a vintage-looking storefront. "Ice cream! Let's stop for ice cream!"

He ignored the brothers' exasperated-but-fond sighs and ran into the parlor. He got a magical pink and blue swirl of ice cream called Cotton Candy Fantasy in a waffle cone; this trip just got better every second!

"Hmm, I can't decide," Gerard mused while Mikey paid for his vanilla milkshake.

Mikey shrugged. "We'll wait outside. It's kind of crowded in here."

He and Frank stepped outside the ice cream parlor, strolling down the sidewalk a ways. Then Mikey stopped, fixing Frank with a serious look.

"Frank," he said, voice stern. Uh oh. This was his no-nonsense voice. He'd use it when Gerard had too much to drink back in the day or Frank had gotten a little too wild on stage or Bob was being an asshole (which was a lot of the time.) Mikey said, "Frank, listen. I like you. A lot. You're one of my best friends. But obviously, I like Gerard more, he's my brother. And he's doing really good; he's writing and drawing and doing what he loves. He's got a great family. He's _happy_. Do not fuck this up for him."

"What are you talking about?" Frank asked, like he didn't know. Of course he fucking knew.

Mikey closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. When he stared back down at Frank, he seemed a mix of annoyed and concerned. "I've seen the way you've been looking at him. And I know maybe there's still something between you, and I don't care, but—just don't be selfish, okay? Gerard is in a really good place right now. And if something happened with him and Lindsey, I don’t know how he’d take it."

He looked expectantly at Frank, waiting for a response. A promise, maybe.

Frank nodded solemnly. "I get it. I'm happy for him too, and I'm not trying to fucking break up his marriage." It was all true; he just left out the part where he still wanted to get in Gerard's pants, regardless.

"I didn't—Frank you know what I mean," Mikey sighed. "Just don't do anything stupid."

Gerard caught up with them just then, licking mint ice cream from a cone. Frank thought he should feel a little guilty for the way he stared at Gerard's tongue darting out from his mouth, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Hey, whatcha guys talking about?" Gerard asked with an oblivious smile.

"Nothing," Mikey said. "Do you guys wanna go down to the boardwalk?"

"Sure!" Gerard agreed happily. "Good idea with the ice cream, Frankie. It's delicious!"

Frank huffed, rolling his eyes. "I'm not a fucking home wrecker," he mumbled under his breath, starting to walk and leaving the Way brothers trailing behind him. Though, he didn't miss the knowing glance they exchanged.

 

***** 

 

Lindsey and Bandit had left that afternoon, so Frank and Gerard had the house to themselves. After dinner, they watched a Star Wars movie. (Frank wasn't sure which one, too occupied with Gerard's gorgeous face and the feel of his thigh almost touching Frank's to pay much attention.) He enjoyed this peaceful moment of togetherness and quiet contentment, and it reminded him of times in the past. When they had first met, and Gerard was this shy artist with a lopsided smile and Frank was this crazy punk kid and they would cuddle in bed and listen to records. Or after Gerard had gotten clean, when he would lie with Frank, and everything was perfect, and they would both whisper 'I love you's no longer tainted with alcohol and drugs. There had been nights in Paramour Mansion, when Gerard had had a nightmare or they were too on edge to sleep, and they would lie awake and stare and the ceiling, listening to each other's breathing, and sometimes kissing or caressing. Then of course, Frank remembered clearly, after they had recorded "Destroya," and Frank and Gerard had snuck off, and Gerard was whispering _we can't_ , and Frank was ignoring him and dropping to his knees. Afterwards, they had sat on the bathroom floor, oblivious to the hard tile underneath them and thinking only of each other, quiet and contemplative. It was times like these that Frank loved the most. 

"Frank?" Gerard said, voice just above a whisper but still too loud in the still dark.

When Frank turned, his nose almost brushed Gerard's with how close he was leaning in toward Frank. "Yeah?" Frank choked out, suddenly unable to breathe.

"The movie's over."

Frank couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes away from Gerard's, or even to move back. He just whispered, "Kiss me."

Gerard closed his eyes and drew a shaky breath. Frank had known him long enough to recognize the worry that passed over his face. "Frank," he murmured, lips so close to Frank's, but not quite there. "We can't."

Frank reached out a tentative hand and cupped Gerard's face, keeping it there as Gerard flinched, then melted into his touch. "No one has to know."

"Frank, please don't do this," Gerard begged. "You know I want you so bad. Don't give me this choice."

His breath ghosted over Frank's lips, and it took all of Frank's strength not to lean in just that much more and kiss him—but he wouldn't do anything to Gerard that he didn't want. "Please? Just for tonight?"

"Frank, no. This is wrong."

Frank smirked. "That's not what you said last time we did this. Remember, that night in Jersey? You were practically tearing off my clothes after the show, so desperate for me."

Gerard's breath hitched, and his eyes were still shut tight. "Frankie," he pleaded. "I love my wife." It sounded almost like he was trying to convince himself.

Frank huffed, almost a laugh, but not quite. "I'm not saying fucking elope with me. All I'm saying is, let me have you—just for tonight. You know I still love you."

"I—" Gerard breath caught again, and his voice was choked. Roaming hands clutched Frank's shirt. "Frank, please don't say that."

"Why? It's true."

Gerard's eyes finally fluttered open, and they were glistening and wet. "Because I love you, too. So much. And you're here with me and holding me but I know that in a few days you'll be gone, back with your family, and I'll ache inside, wishing you were here. Frank, can't you see how much this is hurting me?"

It felt like an icy hand had plunged into Frank's chest and grabbed his heart, squeezing hard until he threatened to break. "Gee," he breathed. "I don't want you to hurt. Fuck, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I thought that meant letting you marry her. Should I not have let you go?"

At that, Gerard collapsed into his arms, sobbing softly against Frank's chest. Fucking hell, this was not at all how he wanted this to go; things were so good and now he'd made Gerard cry. Could he be any shittier of a person?

"Gerard," he begged, holding him. "Please don't cry. Please, baby. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"What-what if you h-hadn't?" Gerard stuttered, looking up at Frank with broken eyes. "W-what if you stayed with me? Why didn't you keep me to yourself, Frank? We could have been so happy."

Frank ignored the rogue tears running down his face. "No," he said firmly. "You love her. I love my wife. We have families, Gerard. There is no what if. Only what is."

Gerard sniffled, hands carding through Frank's hair. "I've always loved you, Frank. Since we first met and played shows together, and I thought Pencey fuckin’ sucked, but you were the most amazing person I'd ever laid eyes on. And then everything changed, and I'm sick of it, I'm sick of meeting up every now and then and fucking like it doesn't mean anything. I'm sick of cheating on my wife with you. I'm sick of thinking, every time I sleep with her, how I wish it was you. I'm sick of lying to myself, Frank."

"Gerard, stop. This is our life. We're not a thing anymore. If you don't want to fuck me, then fine. But don't sit there carrying on about how—about how things used to be, about how they could have been. Do you want to deal with a fucking mess of divorcing your wife and breaking your family apart and changing your entire fucking life? 'Cause I fucking don't."

Gerard glared through his tears, looking more hurt than angry. "Of course you don't," he spat. "You always ran away when things got too hard."

Frank deflated; Gerard was right, and he knew it. But what could he say? They'd made their choices a long time ago, and it was no use regretting them now. "Think about our kids," Frank argued. "You think they'll like growing up in broken homes?"

Gerard didn't say anything. He just pulled back and stood up, taking a few steps away from Frank. "This was a bad idea," he whispered brokenly. "Frank, you should...Whatever. I'm going to bed."

Frank stared after him, begging, "Gerard, don't be like that. Please."

"What do you want me to say?" Gerard quipped. "Oh, Frank, you abandoned me eleven years ago and now I'm heartbroken and wanting to leave my wife for you, please give me your cock."

"I'm trying to be realistic, okay?"

"Fuck realistic!" Gerard shouted. "Life is chaos, and then one day it all ends, and I'll be dead and you'll be dead, we'll all be dead. And you're saying you don't want to be together for the sake of making things easy? Why can't we just be happy?!"

Frank was silent for several moments. Then he whispered, "Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Okay, I'll think about it." Frank sighed, holding out his arms for Gerard. "I'll think about it, just, please, come here?"

Gerard stared at him, mouth forming a small 'o' in surprise. "Really?"

Frank nodded, and yes, he meant it. "Really. Maybe there's a way we can make this work. But for now, can I just kiss you?"

Gerard's lips were on his a second later, falling into his lap and tangling his fingers in Frank's hair. Frank was blissfully happy, so much so he thought he might cry again.

When their kisses became too heated, Gerard dragged him off the couch, panting, "Bedroom, c'mon," and leading him through the house. They ended up in the master bedroom, Frank barely able to take a look around before being sprawled out on the silk sheets.

"I love you," Frank gasped, hips rutting against Gerard's when he settled on top of the other man.

Gerard leaned in close and growled, "Don't fuckin' say that again while we're fucking. I can't take it right now, okay?"

Frank swallowed hard and nodded, saying nothing but flipping them over so he was leaning over Gerard. "Got it. Now whenever you're done being a pissy little bitch, let me know how you want to do this."

Gerard whined, sending shivers through Frank, and tossed his head back, long hair splayed out on the pillow. "Shut up. Just fuck me like this; I wanna see your face."

Their clothes were discarded hastily, and they were left bare and exposed, gasping in the dark. Frank half expected Gerard to keep his clothes on; Gerard had been insecure in the past, and even though he'd come a long way since then, it was hard to tell what he was thinking. Gerard didn't look scared, though. He looked serene—like all he ever wanted was for Frank to look at him, see him for exactly who he was and still smile and surge forward to kiss him.

It had been far too long since they'd done this. Frank sighed into Gerard's mouth and wondered how he'd ever let this perfect man go. And even now, no longer a sex symbol and definitely different in a lot of ways, Gerard was still the most beautiful person Frank had ever seen.

"Do you have lube?" Frank rasped, pulling back and running his thumb over Gerard red, swollen lips.

"No," he answered nervously. "Haven’t needed it."

"What do you want to do then?"

Gerard gave him a pleading look. "I can take it. Just be careful."

Frank nodded, hesitant but unable to say no. He sat back on his heels between Gerard's legs. "Turn over, babe."

Gerard frowned. "I want it like this."

"I know," Frank said with a smirk. "But first I need to get you ready. And it might be easier for me to eat you out if you're on your hands and knees."

Gerard sucked in a sharp breath, nodding furiously and scrambling to get into the position Frank had suggested. He leaned down on his elbows, raising his ass, and god, Frank had missed this.

The first wet swipe of Frank's tongue made Gerard gasp, hips rocking back, already begging for more. Frank smiled knowingly and used his hands to spread Gerard cheeks and give himself better access. He pressed his tongue flat against Gerard's hole and licked upwards slowly, reveling in Gerard's sighs of pleasure.

"Yeah, Frank," he breathed happily, pressing back onto Frank's face. "Oh, that's so good."

Frank's nails dug into the squishy skin of Gerard's ass as he went for it, shoving his tongue past the ring of muscle and licking into Gerard.

A sharp gasp came from in front of him, then a moan. "Oh, Frank yes. Baby, that's so good."

Frank flicked his tongue in and out, licking Gerard open and making certain that Gerard was enjoying this. If the desperate moans he was emitting was anything to go by, Frank was doing a damn good job of it.

Frank pulled back and let a mouthful of spit drip onto Gerard's hole, leaving him nice and wet. "Good, baby?" he asked, pressing the pad of one finger against Gerard's entrance.

Gerard's thighs were shaking, thick and begging to be bruised. "Yeah," he groaned. "So fuckin’ good."

Frank took his time prepping Gerard, knowing that the lack of lube was going to make this difficult and wanting Gerard to be as comfortable as possible. When he managed to work three fingers into Gerard without much resistance, Frank figured he'd done a good enough job, and pulled his fingers out to begin spitting into his own hand.

"Frankie," Gerard whined, upset by the feeling of emptiness he was left with.

"Yeah, sweetheart," Frank assured as he gathered a good amount of saliva in his hand, "I'm gonna fuck you in just a second. Hold on."

He spread the spit over his cock. He hadn't bothered to ask about condoms; they hadn't used them since the first few times they been together. They both gotten tested when things became serious, and after that, there was no need.

Frank nudged the head of his cock against Gerard's entrance, eager to finally have Gerard as his lover again after all the time they'd spent apart.

"Wait," Gerard said, flipping over onto his back. Then, "Okay. You can go."

Frank pushed in slowly, peppering Gerard's face in kisses and whispering sweet somethings in his ear. Gerard only winced a little; either the stretch wasn’t too bad, or he was distracted by Frank's gentle words.

"Have you done this since the last time we were together?" Frank asked as he bottomed out. Gerard was fucking tight as a vice.

Gerard shook his head weakly, hands on Frank's shoulder blades, holding him close. "No," he whispered in response.

Frank smirked, pulling out just a bit and watching Gerard's face for any sign of discomfort. "I'm not surprised. I never took Lindsey for the type to fuck her man with a strap-on."

Gerard cringed. "Please don't mention my wife while I'm fucking cheating on her in our bed."

"Okay," Frank agreed with a laugh.

He fucked Gerard slow and sweet, trying to convey his love through the thrust of his hips and his lips on Gerard's neck. Gerard gasped and writhed under him, holding on tight and begging with those sinful lips.

"Frankie, please," he whimpered. Then, when that spot inside him was finally hit, Gerard's eyes rolled back in pleasure, and his mouth hung open around wordless cries.

Frank angled his hips toward that place that made his lover go crazy, thinking only of making Gerard feel good. "So pretty, angel," he murmured, finally touching Gerard's hair like he'd been wanting to for so long. It really was as soft as it looked.

Gerard moaned desperately. "Please, _ah_ Frank, I'm so close."

Frank brought him to finish with a hand wrapped around Gerard's cock and their lips pressed together. Gerard screamed into his mouth, arching up against Frank's body. Not long after, Frank was coming as well, hips rocking forward as he spilled deep inside Gerard.

They both fell back onto the bed, drained physically and emotionally. Frank stroked Gerard's cheek and hair, whispering, "I love you."

Gerard smiled sleepily and curled into Frank, content to be held in his lover's arms. "I love you, too."

"Gerard. What you said earlier, about—"

"Frank," Gerard mumbled into his chest. "I'm half asleep, can we do this in the morning?"

Frank shut his mouth and nodded, pulling Gerard closer. "Okay. Goodnight, baby."

"G'night."

 

***** 

 

Mikey's was filled with barely-contained rage the next day when he and Frank met up at Starbucks.

"You son of a bitch," he said through gritted teeth.

"Good to see you, too, Mikes," Frank replied sarcastically. "He fucking told you?"

Mikey rolled his eyes. "Yes. My brother is considering leaving his wife for you after you two slept together last night, of course he fucking told me."

Frank shrugged. That morning's conversation with Gerard hadn't ended with a definite conclusion, but the possibility was open. "We've only got one life to live, Mikey."

"God damn it," Mikey sighed. "You really think you two could make this work?"

"I don't know," Frank said honestly. "But if Gerard wants to do this, I'm willing to try."

Mikey shook his head and sighed again. "He’s still ridiculously in love with you."

Frank smiled. "I sure hope so. 'Cause I love that stupid motherfucker a whole hell of a lot, too."


End file.
